Mainrenance Discipline
Maintenance discipline is a practice of giving your wife regular
spankings to maintain her proper behavior and attitude. From our
experience when Kim receives this type of discipline she is more humble
and her attitude is greatly improved.
Whether you as an HOH decide to conduct these on monthly, weekly or daily schedules is up to you, I have found that daily spanking work best for Kim.
Maintenance spankings help to remind her to be on her best behavior and to help keep her attitude in the proper manner, letting her know that she is required to maintain her behavior and not slip into being careless and disrespectful to her HOH.
When a woman has not been punished for some time the memory of the painful spanking she received due to her bad behavior will start to fade and the wife's attitude may change for the worse, with a regular maintenance spanking she is reminded of just how painful a punishment spanking is and that she is required at all times to act accordingly.
Another reason for the maintenance spankings is to re-establish the emotional and intimate connection of the wife and the HOH, bringing out the Masculine energy from the HOH and the feminine energy from his wife.
All women crave this energy, this energy is what couples feel when they were still all flowers and sunsets.
A maintenance spanking will also give your wife the much needed stress relief that has built up since her last punishment spanking, allowing her tears to flow hence relieving her stress.
Along with the stress release, a maintenance spanking will also benefit your wife by showing her you are committed to the LDD relationship.
Some men will not discipline their wives due to fatigue, busy schedules, or fear of really taking control, with a regular maintenance spanking you can overcome this obstacle.
Regular maintenance spankings also provide to your wife that you care enough for her, that she is worth the trouble of regular scheduling spankings, and remind her that you as her HOH will enforce punishments when they warrant for her behavior and attitude.
By spanking her on a regular basis will also serve as constant reminder of the love and commitment you have for her, allowing her to fully appreciate that you are the HOH and are in charge.
Remember that just as with a punishment spanking a maintenance spanking should be done long and hard enough to produce tears, allowing her to cry freely and release any stress she has built up, feeling the energy of your masculinity, and the love you both share for each other.
Most men tend to only spank for punishment, when I did this with Kim I found her behavior and attitude to be worse, after some discussion and the implement of maintenance spankings Kim's behavior changed for the better.
Sir Don
Whether you as an HOH decide to conduct these on monthly, weekly or daily schedules is up to you, I have found that daily spanking work best for Kim.
Maintenance spankings help to remind her to be on her best behavior and to help keep her attitude in the proper manner, letting her know that she is required to maintain her behavior and not slip into being careless and disrespectful to her HOH.
When a woman has not been punished for some time the memory of the painful spanking she received due to her bad behavior will start to fade and the wife's attitude may change for the worse, with a regular maintenance spanking she is reminded of just how painful a punishment spanking is and that she is required at all times to act accordingly.
Another reason for the maintenance spankings is to re-establish the emotional and intimate connection of the wife and the HOH, bringing out the Masculine energy from the HOH and the feminine energy from his wife.
All women crave this energy, this energy is what couples feel when they were still all flowers and sunsets.
A maintenance spanking will also give your wife the much needed stress relief that has built up since her last punishment spanking, allowing her tears to flow hence relieving her stress.
Along with the stress release, a maintenance spanking will also benefit your wife by showing her you are committed to the LDD relationship.
Some men will not discipline their wives due to fatigue, busy schedules, or fear of really taking control, with a regular maintenance spanking you can overcome this obstacle.
Regular maintenance spankings also provide to your wife that you care enough for her, that she is worth the trouble of regular scheduling spankings, and remind her that you as her HOH will enforce punishments when they warrant for her behavior and attitude.
By spanking her on a regular basis will also serve as constant reminder of the love and commitment you have for her, allowing her to fully appreciate that you are the HOH and are in charge.
Remember that just as with a punishment spanking a maintenance spanking should be done long and hard enough to produce tears, allowing her to cry freely and release any stress she has built up, feeling the energy of your masculinity, and the love you both share for each other.
Most men tend to only spank for punishment, when I did this with Kim I found her behavior and attitude to be worse, after some discussion and the implement of maintenance spankings Kim's behavior changed for the better.
Sir Don
Hi Sir Don,
Wow! Daily maintenance. And I thought weekly maintenance was bad...lol. Maintenance is a wonderful tool for lots of couples, but I want to present another point of view.
We did maintenance when we first began CDD, but after a couple of months we stopped. I felt like I never received any grace from my husband for regular every day mistakes. It was very stressful and upsetting for me. (Of course I'm quite the wienie.) He realized this and decided we didn't need to do maintenance on a regular basis. Now we only do it once in awhile when he feels like I am slipping in my duties or my attitude.
We do PLAY alot, however, which serves to remind me of who is boss in our house without upsetting me and making me cry. We have found it works well for us. Maybe it is a form of maintenance, but the tone is entirely different and I don't feel punished afterwards.
Anyway, just a few comments to spur discussion. I appreciate your post and see alot of wisdom in it, so please don't think I'm disagreeing. That's the beauty of CDD. Every couple can decide for themselves what works and what doesn't.
Blessings,
Leah
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Thank you Leah, for bringing up that point about you feeling you never received any grace with your husband when you were getting daily maintenance. I do get daily maintenance right now, and I need it. But in reading what I've found lately on this subject (We are new to this aspect of adult spankings), all I've seen is the wives that get daily maintenance and only the husband's view on the matter.
There was one wife that wrote and described her situation and was looking for some help in how to bring it up to her husband that it was just too much for her. She went on and on about how much and how many spankings she got each day. She felt that it was too much and asked the advice of the person the page belonged to. She asked if he thought it was truly necessary. The only comment she got was, "Yes."
At that point, it scared me that there was no talking about what was good for BOTH of the people in their relationship.
In my experience, the dominant can take unfair advantage of the submissive. There should be open and honest communication between the two and both should agree to all the rules before they act on them.
What I'm trying to say is that I appreciate reading your view as the submissive and that you make no mistake in conveying that you and your HOH are in harmony with one another.
A lot of people visit these sites everyday to try to learn about this lifestyle and how to put it into motion in their own lives. I think the people who put this information out there should act responsibly to make sure the public is not misinformed.
I am very happy to see that you have taken on that obligation to your readers, and you describe that it is a Loving relationship and it's not meant to be one sided.
Thank you,
~Sly
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My husband is loving and kind as most are. He knows me, he can tell when maintence is necessary and when it isn't. He also knows when punishment is not getting through and will stop, rub my back, talk to me, so I can get my head on straight, then continue discipline. He always thinks of what is best for me and our family, his needs are always second.
There are times when I can withstand the harshest spankings and he adds corner time or the back rubbing and talking and takes breaks, until I relent in my emotional barriers that are in place.
There are times when I get angry and it hurts too much and he holds me in place and uses a switch to bread that barrier and get me through to a place that I can relent and accept that yes it hurts, it is punishment and it is supposed to.
He holds me after, lets me cry, everything to make it a benefit, not just him man me woman.
I think most of the husbands are this way. There are extremists out there. Like the non comment you found. But when a man loves his wife as the Christ loves the church, he puts her needs above his ego.
I hope this helps
Cassie
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I don't understand. Most of what I've read about maintenance is that it is like a reminder, a lesser spanking, often just a few swats, sometimes more. But SirDon says that a maintenance spanking "should be done long and hard enough to produce tears". Please explain.
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While I have no intention of speaking for Sir Don, many women are inclined to believe that they are mentally tougher than men. One difficulty that can arise from a failure to cry is a power struggle. If this happens, it simple removes the problem from the living room to the bedroom - so to speak.
The problem a woman generally has with loss of composure is that she is no longer in control of the situation. If she is unable to trust, she only feels safe only so long as she can dictate the terms of her surrender.
Conversely, a woman who feels secure has no problem with crying. It simply becomes a momentary inconvenience to get to something more important in her life.
Tears have a healing quality. Likewise, the release of endorphins buoys the spirits. In the end, she feels closer to her husband. A bonding has taken place.
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In all of what sir don has said I hear nothing of going to the Lord for guidance,Iwonder if the mans commitment to the Lord as his HOH is as strong as his need for submission from his wife,Ispent 20 years in a very fundamental marriage and my loving husband would spend much time praying and reading the BIBLE he always wanted to make sure our actions were in accord with GOD s will and not a deep seated need to dominate,I received discipline in the form of a paddling only twice ,my Love found another much more effective way to bring me along we prayed together and then he would hold me sooo close and tell me how i complete him and how he needs me to focus on our goals and our faith but his eyes and his passion would melt my heart needless to say we were very happy until OUR LORD took him home two years ago but this is what we shared our commitment to each other in front of the LORD every day I dont want to criticize anyones approach to thier path especially if its both consenting to these waysI just feel a little worried for the womaen who are receiving daily spankings and maybe do not deserve such pain.Yours in Christ
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Dear Sir Don: I wish my husband would discipline me but he won't. He will not even talk about it. What should I do? I thought about seeking a male friend, who would only be a friend who would discipline me when I need it. Nothing other than listening to me and confessing to him the things I have done, setting goals and rules for myself and being disciplined when I do things to prevent me from reaching my goals, being unsafe, having a bad attitude and not keeping up with my responsibilities at work and at home. I don't have anyone to hold me accountable and I am having difficulty with self control and self discipline. I am having difficulty staying on my diet, exercising, doing all the things I am supposed to be doing and it is getting depressing. What should I do? My husband thinks I am sick.
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Leah, We to started daily maintenance discipline in the start but after a while it was not needed, as Kay learned a lot and the daily became more of a ritual then actual discipline.
Kay is now spanked only when needed, although over the past couple years, we found that Kay on occasion would start acting up, so dailies were imposed for a short time to correct her behavior and remind once again.
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I was involved in a relationship where my husband believed in maintenance discipline. However, he wouldn't impose punishment in the traditional way. His punishment was imposed to humble me because I was very thick headed and made a lot of wrong decisions concerning our household because it had to be my way or no way. One day, I embarrassed him in front of a male neighbor ( I answered the front door dressed very inappropriately just to show off) he was just fed up. He took out a belt and whipped me so bad, I had whelps all across my beautiful, sexy body. He did not allow me to leave or call anyone. Instead he came into the room with some witch hazel, gave it to me and left. I knew I was wrong. I felt a different type of respect for him after that. I learned to treat and respect him as a man and the HOH. After that, at the end of each week, we would sit and talk about my behavior and whatever my offense, so would be my punishment. If I mouthed off too severely, I was muzzled. If I dressed too promiscuous, which I often did, he would engage me in humiliating sex(whores treatment) If I acted childish I was put over his lap and spanked severeley, (not for eroticism. ) He did not beat me up very bad or try to ever cause my any type of permanent physical trauma or undue pain , but I was maintained by my husband and led a life according to how the scriptures say a woman should. And I was not unhappy! After our first year of marriage, I noticed a change in how he treated me. I became his Queen above all else. I gained more out of my marriage by letting my husband be in control. After a rough week, when things maybe didnt go too smooth, I looked forward to my discipline as a way for him to kow that I meant for them to improve. I feel like since I submitted myself to him, he was accountable for me in the eyes of God, and when he strayed to another woman, I knew it wasn't because of anything wrong that I had done and he knew it to. In our divorce settlement, my husband told the courts to give my wife EVERYTHING.
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Nowhere in this tale of woe is there even the hint that either the man or the woman wanted the marriage to work. It is little more than the case of two narcissistic individuals - each wanting their own way - finally destroying their relationship.
Therein, there is no surprise. They could have just as easily wrecked their marriage without *domestic discipline* as with it.
The above merely serves to illustrate a point that I have made before. *Domestic discipline* is a tool rather than a magic bullet.
In this regard, while a common twelve-ounce hammer may be useful for driving a nail into wood, it is of not much use in driving a nail into armor plate! Likewise, if two people have no interest in becoming one with each other - the equivalent of being fastened together, as with two pieces of wood joined together for some functional purpose - *domestic discipline* is of little use.
That the husband should give the wife *everything* and walk away comes as no surprise either. There have been cases in which husbands have been falsely accused of *domestic violence*, and simply abandoned her and the property. Sometimes, loss of material goods can be a cheap price to pay for peace of mind.
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This article is SOO true!! My HOH and I are pretty new to CDD, but immediately, the changes were noticable. I humbly asked him to begin daily Maintenance spankings on me as well. I realize the potential that they serve in keeping me humble and submissive towards him, and I noticed that if I do not have them, I am not nearly respectfull enough towards Him or myself. After reading your article, I am comforted that I am not the only wife who needs this daily maintenance. I am very appreciative of him taking the time from his busy day to give me the discipline I need.
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I was actually hoping that someone else would respond to this post because, as I have previously posted, I do not believe in *maintenance spankings* as they are commonly defined. Then, neither do I believe in lists of rules because I see them as a distraction.
After floundering with domestic discipline during the first few years of marriage, I discovered that there are simply times when a woman needs to be spanked. Moreover, despite pretenses to the contrary, the woman likely knows it before a novice husband recognizes the fact.
Still, the post addresses four important points.
One is humility. It is commonly understood - even among women without firsthand experience in *domestic discipline* - that the surest way to curb prideful behavior in a female is to soundly paddle her bare buttocks. Put another way, several decades ago a highly successful woman made headlines when she observed that if husbands would *leave marks where women sit down*, their wives would both love and respect them.
Conversely, when men fail to discipline their wives, in time their wives will come to despise them for their weakness. This reversal is so profound that it may actually be a component of species survival inherited from millennia of maternal ancestors.
On a practical level, spanking minimizes destructive power struggles within marriage. At the same time, by getting rid of emotional garbage, it allows for discussion of more important issues.
Third, in an age in which political correctness has become the new McCarthyism, both men and women feel compelled to repudiate their own thoughts. Hence, absent traditional social context, introspective women are inclined to think themselves *the only woman in the whole world* in need of a spanking.
Finally, a surprising number of women seem to need - or expect - to be spanked on a daily basis. Among the reasons given are feelings of *security* in knowing that their man can *take charge* as well as the obligatory tears that keeps frustrations from becoming anger tightly held by an emotional dam.
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I was think a while back that this was something that I would like in my marriage because one, it was huge sexual turn on for me, but also two, I wanted to have a wife that was more BIBLICALLY submissive than what I saw in my mother growing up. But then I started thinking that if she is a true woman of faith then she will be a biblically and submissive wife and will not need a spanking. And if she does get out of line then all you have to do is explain to her that this won't be accepted behavior. If she is truly a godly wife, she will come around. If she does need to be punished, then why a spanking? Why a corner? Why? All that does is take their identity away from being a woman and puts them to the same level of a child. Children and wives are separate, not the same and that's the way you make them. If they need punishing, then take the care away from them. Tell them that can't spend any money, but why a spanking? Why put them at the same level as a child. I just don't see it. So I am rethinking this whole thing.
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The difficulty with this line of reasoning is that the form becomes more important than the substance. Then, that is the nature of political correctness.
Moreover, spanking in the context of *domestic discipline* is not so much about punishment as catharsis. The objections raised to it are quite reminiscent of those offered by Naaman in II Kings 5. The proud captain in the Syrian army thought himself too good to bath in the Jordan. In the end, of course, that proved to be his cure.
Several years ago, a wife and mother observed that she should know better than her children how to behave. Consequently, since she held her children accountable for their behavior, she had no objections to her husband doing the same with her.
While most women do not enjoy being spanked, they know - usually much better than men - that a *bare bottom spanking* is the surest way to curb undesirable behavior in a female of any age. Whether they will admit that fact to a man able to do something about their behavior is another story altogether!
As for *corner time*, I have used it twice in over forty years of marriage. In both instances, early in or marriage, my wife had been previously warned about something she was doing.
At the same time, my wife later admitted that being made to stand in the corner after being spanked was totally appropriate and thoroughly effective.
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I agree with the comment about security and taking charge. I do not get maintenance spankings but I get spanked when I misbehave. I can be defiant and angry even as my husband pulls me over his lab and begins spanking. However, and he seems to do this every time, as he pulls down my panties, he reminds me that "he is the head of the house and he wears the pants in the family. Not you. These frilly things on you are no substitute!" I immediately feel so reassured by his strength and willingness to control, protect and love me, and I accept his role and mine. The experience brings me back to a better balance.
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The older I get, the more convinced I become that much of this behavior - both on the part of the male as well as the female - has been going on for so long between the genders that it is encoded in the interaction of the genes. I have never met a woman claiming that she had *absolutely no idea what he had in mind* when her husband *got her home*, *hauled her to the bedroom*, gave her *that look*, *took her in hand*, or told her to *come here* or that it was *time to talk*!
While the interaction of each couple is unique in its own way - frequencies of administration, choices in implements, and who uncovers the necessary area are typical examples - it is also amazingly similar. The logic of this makes even greater sense when one realizes that, over millennia and around the world, these are the couples most likely have children and successfully raise them to have children of their own.
I have also become increasingly convinced that feminist opposition originates within their actually being attracted to *domestic discipline* on a visceral level while trying to cerebrally deny their fascination.
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I agree that maintenance spanking is crap, but if you are going to live this way, then that's up to you, but my problem is why would you need a spanking if you are a mature adult? If you get real bitchy then fine beat your butt, but why keep it up for years or your who;e marriage. What happens when he misbehaves? How do you correct him when he's wrong? Or is he never wrong. I wanted this in my marriage at one time, but if I did, she would have to approach me.
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More accurately, you seem to think spanking is *crap*. Furthermore, your argument assumes that spanking within marriage to be merely an extension of the common childhood punishment. It is not.
Even girls spanked into their teens frequently acknowledge that a trip over the parental lap is as much about catharsis as it is discipline. At the height of the anti-spanking histrionics, a college coed posted on a personal website that, as a disciplined teenager, she continued to cry long after the spanking stopped and *felt better* afterwards. Her conclusiong was that being able to rid herself of pent-up emotions - before they reached an unhealthy critical mass - made her a much saner person.
This evolution continues in marriage. While spanking remains an effective deterrent to misbehavior, it serves a much more useful purpose in that it gives the woman an excuse to dump her emotional baggage cart. In a word, she is less *neurotic*.
There is an old saying: Women nag; men spank. Apart from an ideal world - that does not and never will exist on their earth - there is a balance within the interaction of men and women that has been lost amid the lunacy of political correctness.
Women have their ways of telling a man that they think he is wrong. Difficulties arise because political correctness demands that men adopt the means best suited to women. Rather obviously - given the proliferation of disastrous marriages and dysfuctional children - it has not worked very well.
In fact, our little exchange in this blog is simply a microcosm of what happens in many marriages. Arguments over who is right and who is wrong tends to solve nothing. Meanwhile, the marriage crumbles as the couples argue over who is right and who is wrong. Moreover, men do not have to always be right to bring about stable marriages.
Unlike perpetual bickering, spanking brings couples closer together by clearing the emotional air. Even apart from the biological impedus, that is why the practice survived massive political correct reeducation schemes.
Unlike so-called *vanilla* couples, those able to successfully incorporate *domestic discipline* into their relationship tend to work out difficulties that cause other couples to drift apart of, more commonly these days, split.
In fact, in the final analysis, the results are so predictable that is matters little whether one talks to secular women or belivers in *domestic disciple* relationships. They all report being much calmer and closer to their husbands than their more politically correct peers.
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Noone,
Your comment that the feminist opposition originates from conflicting emotions interests me. Could it be possible that it comes from women "upping the ante" so to speak? Let me explain. Our roles in society have changed over time. It used to be that physical strength was necessary in a man to help protect his family and because it was necessary for him to work hard physically. The woman's role was a much more domestic one out of necessity as well. Technology has changed things. It is no longer necessary for men to work on a farm unless he wants to. He can make a nice living on a computer in a cozy office. You don't need a lot of muscle for that. Women are free to work and household duties are not the same. Our roles as men an women are not as clearly defined as they once were. I am forever meeting young men of the generation that is currently entering the work force who want to compare recipes and discuss how they plan to decorate their home with their new wife/girlfriend. I think this qualifies them to be described as "metro sexual." To me it is a big turnoff and I feel bad for their women. Personally, I don't need a man to outcook/outclean/out decorate me. I need a man who can cut the lawn, trim the hedges, paint the house, tinker with the car, etc. Back to "upping the ante." Could the current form of feminism be a way to challenge the men to be more masculine in our current society where a man has to make more of an effort to demonstrate his masculinity? If a woman can match what a man can do on the currently more even playing field, she must then challenge him to find a new way to show his dominance. It's really kind of consistent with our roles over time anyway. While there have been many changes in our culture some basic things will never change. While I believe in a man's role and ability to care for and lead his family, I think that power and strength comes from a woman and thus, no matter how the relationship works,a woman is there letting her man know what she wants and needs. A man is capable of being a loving, caring strong leader in his home as long as the woman is there for him. The feminist opposition can be viewed as women letting men know what they need and want just as they always have. I consider myself a feminist in that I am grateful for the effort of my sisters before me and I enjoy the benefits. I do not wish to take over a man's role. I want a man to move forward with me in this culture. I believe every man has this potential and it is the woman/feminist's role to bring them along. DD fits into this idea for me, because I still need my husband to demonstrate his masculinity. I feel a sense of relief that he is in control as a man willing to care for his family and do what is necessary. It allows a strong woman to know that her man is even stronger, both physically and in his soul. I don't feel that I am being punished like a child, but loved as a wife.
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First, apart from some statement taken out of context, I think you will probably find that I said feminism was more a reaction than a legitimate philosophy. At least, that is what have posted online for the past decade or so.
Second, having read a fair amount of original source feminist literature, I find it hard to believe that feminists of any stripe were "upping the ante" on anything. As the *flapper* era after World War I demonstrates, *liberated* women simply wanted to be like men. After World War II, feminist thought that they could replace men altogether. That fantasy has not worked out very well.
Third, again as I have repeatedly posted, although we live in a so-called *modern* world, our brains still operate as they did in past generations. That is a good thing because the present scheme of things is rapidly unraveling. Technology has become as much a curse as a blessing.
Fourth, there are marriages that incorporate spanking - often on a purely erotic level - rather than practice legitimate *domestic discipline*. While this works for a time, it has its limits in perpetuating stability.
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DD seems incompatible with a woman having a career. She should be at home. That is fine for some women. But there are women out there, like myself, whose education (PhD) and career contributes to preventing the deaths of thousands of children in developing countries around the world each year by developing better water distribution systems, food production mechanisms, etc. I work with men and women in doing this. Women should have to courage to say that they can make an amazing difference that will *save lives* in the world today rather than having the sum of their satisfactions and accomplishments be a bit of housework. I would rather give my two young girls a role model of a woman who can intelligently help the world while still raising children and enjoying a loving family life free from any meaingful arguments than to be the type of mother who shows my children that I am good for no more than housework. I seriously and hearfeltly urge women to do something and give something back in this world rather than living a self-absorbed existence that revolves around doing the jobs of a maid and cook. Seriously - why would you be any more intelligent than an animal or a retarded person if God only intended you to cook and be spanked?
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This response is indeed interesting because, normally, getting a Ph.D. is as much an ego trip as anything else. The sense of entitlement results from the fact that only about one percent of the United States population earns a doctorate.
Although not a universal truism, some Ph.D.s have truly quirky personalities. Despite a profound understanding in a narrowly defined area of expertise, they have great difficulty communicating those ideas to a less esoteric public unacquainted with jargon and assumptions inherent in a particular discipline.
The inability to communicate then fuels an air superiority. After all, it is quite easy to assume that everyone else is stupid.
Often the newly minted Ph.D. has a higher opinion of himself or herself than does the marketplace! This is especially true of degrees in the humanities - where there has recently been an oversupply relative to position availability. A few years ago, a Ph.D. in history made headlines when he reported being able to make more money as a carpenter than as a professional historian!
In addition to specialty, being employable as a Ph.D. may dictate where one lives. In other words, especially if one has a load of accumulated student loans, the degree can significantly limit one's life choices.
Earning an advanced degree or obtaining professional certification often leads to marital discord and dissolution. Divorces among female candidates are common. So are second marriages as well as single lifestyles that include lesbianism.
Moreover, truly helping people usually requires a breadth of life experiences rather than a depth of formal education. One must live life in order to understand it.
There are two broad categories of knowledge. One is theoretical and is often found in texts written to impress peers. The other is practical and comes from rubbing elbows with humanity.
While children have traditionally been a primary justification for foisting more self-serving feminist ambitions on a gullible public, to merely pursue a narrowly specialized field for seven years as an example to one's children can be quite shortsighted.
For one thing, technical knowledge gained a point in time becomes quickly obsolete. Not so long ago, there was almost a whole generation of Ph.D.s unable to adapt to personal computers because their experience with card sorting mainframes, once the backbone of academic research, left them with an aversion to computers.
Their dissertations were typed on typewriters - often by professional typists! Tables and charts were typically drawn by hand.
Even in hard sciences, that which was once considered to be irrefutable gets revised on an almost daily basis. Knowledge built on a social science foundation has all the stability of piecrust on quicksand.
Conversely, being able to get along with a member of the opposite sex can be priceless in times of political and economic upheaval. Historically, gender cooperation has been a lynch pin in survival of the species.
Thus, significant difficulties arise when children of the compulsively driven are unable to relate to real world situations. Passing on academic talent through the procreative process is no more guaranteed than is inheritance of any other skill. Even more deleterious, is the legacy of an eccentric personality with an utter lack of talent!
Having been married to a very bright woman for over forty years, I have discovered that brains is no barrier to *domestic discipline*. Moreover, I am not alone.
Other men married to women with various academic and professional credentials have observed the same thing. So have their wives!
Cerebral capacity is not the issue. A willingness to do what is sometimes necessary to make a marriage work and raise children with healthy attitudes about life is paramount.
In the final analysis, when one does a lousy job of raising one's children, nothing else much matters. Feminist ambition does not produce great children. That reality is encapsulated in the unmitigated disaster of public education - where, often, ninety percent of the teachers are *liberated* females.Reply to this
To say spanking is necessary is quite a stretch.
When the Bible says women are to be in subjection, the greek work does not mean obedience (which is commanded of servants and children) but rather of allowing ones preferences over themselves. Men and women are also called to be in subjection to each other. The husband is the head of the household but- according to the Bible, if he can help it it'd be good if he could give in to the preferences of his wife in fear of Jesus Christ!
Of course, apparently, your wives need to be spanked very hard each day, or maybe every week or maybe every month. Now, why is this? Why does she need this "maintance" spanking? Oh thats right- so that she can make sure she stays in subjection.
*Apparently* she cannot learn to give up her preferences on issues not relating to principals without a daily dose of thrashing. And it seriously is thrashing, what you describe is awfully painful and you even come up with ways to MAKE it more painful (over the knee or whatever)
This is all that subjection means. Being "wise" and whatever and not being "foolish" and the verse that says the foolish person gets the rod applies to both men AND women.
Gee, wheres the mans spanking...
To be perfectly honest I question the intelligence of a women who lets herself get spanked like this because she needs to make sure that she takes into account her husbands preferences and give in where possible for the sake of harmony.. I mean boy.
And if she's getting spanked for other reasons of discipline, then its even worse, because according to the bible both women and men (though it far more emphasis's men) should be punished.
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As I have pointed out before, I do not believe in maintenance spanking. On the other hand, I will spank if I think it good for my wife or our marriage.
The notion that the patriarchal Bible treats men and women equally is a recent interpretation. It also conflicts with thousands of years of interaction between men and women.
Because I have seen so much of the goofy logic of *women's liberation*, I tend to be highly amused by feminists perpetually yapping about how women need to be given *choices* in their life. Then, when a woman makes a politically incorrect *choice*, then the same *pro choice* crowd says that she is *crazy*!
This would be all be such great fun if the former home of the once *liberated* Soviet woman had not gone down this same path with a vengeance. Anyone daring to disagree with the godless Soviet system was committed to an insane asylum.
In the end, the empire that promised women *equality* turned out to be little more than a slave state that was, in the end, rejected by its own citizens.
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While I don't have a PhD I do have an education beyond my husband's. Far beyond. And when I am bad, he puts me over his knee and spanks my bare bottom. I am not always willing but his good sense usually proves correct. My children are growing up to be productive responsible well behaved young people. I want my daughters to follow my example. They need to be educated in today's American society and they need to be financially independent. They need to WANT a man and not NEED a man. I want my daughter to not have to rely on any man financially but to choose a man with the same values toward family life. Respect and discipline are paramount to a successful family. If they are able to respect a man because he is RIGHT and not because he pays the bills, the whole family will be stronger for it. A woman's level of education and ability to support her family are not inconsistent with CDD.
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Among the big lies - perhaps spawned in that curious triangle linking Hollywood, Harvard, and Hell - is that beauty, brains, or a bank account somehow turns a woman into a goddess. It is not the case.
There is nothing wrong with a woman having beauty, brains, or money - as long as she does not let it go to her head. There is nothing wrong with a woman acquiring a higher education if she does not do so at the expense of her marriage or her children - to whom she has a more important commitment.
Likewise, any man denying his wife the opportunity to acquire a formal education is only cheating himself. The only promise that I made my future mother-in-law was that I would allow her daughter to complete her college education.
In reality, the promise was not to my mother-in-law. It was to my wife because it was important to her.
In time, I also made sure that my wife had her own bank account, credit, and transportation.
Yet, education comes in at least two types. One is formal. The other is acquired through living life. Used wisely, the two varieties can compliment each other because neither has all of the solutions all of the time.
Many problems in marriage cannot be solved with formal education alone. A lot of women have wrecked their marriages in persuit of higher education and a lot of Ph.D.s have gotten divorced.
Spanking has been around since before formal education became fashionable and it will be around after today's knowleged becomes tomorrow's fodder for jokes.
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Why do you put all the blame for the failing of the marriage on the woman just because she goes for a higher education? Yes, if they put that above their families and marriage, then they can get to much, but it's not always the wives fault. In a lot of cases, probably more than women, the men have messed their marriage, "in the name of their service to the Church, or their job." So please don't blame the wife when men screw up too.
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Actually, my insight came from a female Ph.D. and college professor decades ago. She was astounded that my wife had acquired her degree and *not wrecked her marriage*!
Moreover, I am not blaming women. I am pointing the finger at blind ambition - intent to competing with men - when it wrecks marriages and sacrifices children on a self-serving altar of vanity.
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What happen if men put blind ambition ahead of their families?
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It is not that men cannot wreck a family. They most certainly can and have done so.
However, when divorcees began competing with their ex-husbands and former boyfriends to prove that anything a man can do, a woman can do better, the results do not bode well for any children that the couple may have had together.
Over time, the pattern becomes increasingly deleterious to the social infrastructure. If the trend continues, in time, the whole society will collapse. In fact, that is already happening.
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So what would happen if your wife let things get out of control and she started to put things ahead of the family, would you ask her to stop working, give her a spanking, or would you ask yourself and her what you did that may have caused at least part of the problem.
You see, I don't think most wives nor husbands wake one morning and ask themselves, "How can I wreck my marriage today?" There is most of the time a reason they start going off the deep end.
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To ask the reverse question, how many people wake up in the morning and ask themselves what they can do to strengthen their marriage today.
By nature, human beings are self-centered. Were this not so, the Bible would never have been written in its present form. There would be no need for a Golden Rule or the story of the Good Samaritan.
After being married for over forty years, my wife and I resolved many of the difficulties that seem to concern you. The truth is that my wife made it very clear while we were dating that - coming from a line to college-educated women - she was not cut out to be the stay-at-home type.
At the same time, she also let me know that, when she pushed her *liberation* too far, she expected to be spanked. She did not want to go *off the deep end*. That is how - much to the shock of her college peers - that thoroughly unsixties word "obey" came to be inserted into our marriage vows.
By working together, my wife was able to acquire an education well beyond the undergraduate level. She has her own bank account, her own transportation, and owns her own property.
Our achievements came from cooperation rather than conflict.
So, Ben, how long have you been married and what have you accompished with your wife? What makes you so interested in my marriage?
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I think it's interesting that you refer to the women as divorces and the men as ex husband and ex boyfriends. And what makes you think there is any competition? Maybe the women are leading their lives to their fullest potential regardless of their marital status? A real man could cope and deal with the woman he married and still live happily in CDD without feeling emasculated by her accomplishments.
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I arrived my conclusion by having lived long enough to see several generations of women behave in quite similar fashion.
To be sure, there are happy single women. Not everyone is intended to marry.
On the other hand, when someone pledges their love to someone - and then reneges on that promise three years later and set out to prove that they really *did not need that man anyway* - it does sound like competition to me.
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I'm not interested in your marriage. I just don't understand this spanking the wife when you are supposed to be partners and it seems to me that for any man to punish his wife with a spanking has become odd to me.
I used to about a year ago think that this was what I wanted for my marriage. But I realized that I didn't quite understand it. It just seemed some how wrong. It wasn't biblical and that God would want this in a marriage. Besides, how was I going to convince my wife this was something she wanted to do?
I don't know that Abraham spanked Sarah, David spanked Bathsheba, and so on in the bible. But they might have. I don't know. I guess I don't understand it why you would have to when she is supposed to be a godly woman in the first place.
And to answer you question about me being married. I am not married but I have been seeing a woman for the past few years. We have talked about the CDD marriage but she is against it and thinks it's evil. We are both Christians and I want a submissive wife in the exact meaning the word of God sets it up to mean, but she won't go for that. Does she deserve a god spanking at times, yes. But she isn't into this type of life style. But I will do all I can through God to make sure my marriage grows and becomes what it should be.
The bottom line is, you can have this in your marriage if you want and who am I to say if it's wrong and you should or should not do it. I'm just trying to understand it all.
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Given your idealism and you girlfriend's reluctance, what will you do when, as your wife, your current girlfriend is bound by emotional turmoil - even by guilt?
Will you simply standby and let her resolve her own problems? After all, according to politically correct theory, she is just like you on the inside.
Will you try to untangle the emotional knot through intellectual means, or will you cut through the Gordian knot that binds her?
It is not nearly as important that you answer these questions in this forum, as it is that you have a workable solution at hand when the need arises.
Once you fall in love, you will have about a year to come up with a practical solution. After that, absent the requisite remedy, the two of you will begin to drift apart.
At the same time, how your girlfriend thinks about things today may not be how she will think about them tomorrow.
About the age of fourteen - often after that difficult transition from preteen to teenager - most girls think themselves *too old* to spank. Then, by about a decade or two later - as women - they realize that they really are not *too old*.
The awareness is frequently accompanied by some event or accumulation of circumstances in her life. The question is - when this happens - is her husband sufficiently sensitive to her needs.
A quarter century ago, a pastor wrote a book - now out of print - in which he concluded that too many women in the pews of his church each Sunday came to get a *a little verbal spanking*. Reading between the lines, it became apparent that the author was uncomfortable being thrust into a role made necessary by weak husbands failing to give these women what they really needed at home!
Going to church can be a poor substitute for doing the right thing at home.
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Sara,
Good points. I am not in favor maintenance spanking either. But some prefer it. Okay, that up to them. But I just don't understand the whole spanking your wife when the bible says to love her. I had thought about having this in my marriage at one time, but if I was going to it wouldn't be for just any reason or to prove that I am man and she is women, and I am higher on the authority chain. The man is to treat his wife as an equal partner and be equally submissive to her, (Ephesians 5:21). Though God says that she is to submit to you're authority, (Ephesians5:22-24) he does not say to spank them if they get out of line. But to love her as Christ loves the Church. (Ephesians 5:25-28).
I would love my wife as I already do though she is just my girlfriend. But when I am married I intend to be the best to her as I hope and already know she will be the best for me.
But I would only spank my wife if she and I agreed on it.
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I don't know where you got this idea that my girlfriend is emotionally in bondage or however you put it, but isn't that where the power of God comes in for anyone or any woman is in emotional turmoil? Isn't supposed to be our support and the power of prayer, accountability, and the work of the Holy Spirit to bring them from the struggles in theeir lives from the past.
Like I said a few days ago, she does need a good spanking at tiems, but I will not insist on if she isn't into that type of lifestyle. She is not. But I do slap her on the ass if she does need it, but a full over the knee or bent over a chair or the bed and given a number of swatts isn't going to happen. If she changes her mind later, then okay it would be upto her. But to isisnt on it isn't right.
But what I am still trying to proccess is, is this of God and is it biblical.
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Likewise, I have no idea where you got the idea that I thought that your girlfriend was in *emotional bondage*. However, I did interpret your previous remarks to say that she disapproved of *domestic discipline*.
At the same time, having been married to the same woman for over forty years, having raised a daughter or two along the way, and having talked with numerous women over the years, I am quite aware that a female's emotional baggage cart can become quite overloaded. To make matters worse - without doing a considerable amount of damage - women are generally incapable of dumping it themselves.
Like it or not, the most effective way to unload a woman's load of emotional baggage is to spank her. That is not my idea. I learned it from listening to women!
Marriages made in heaven still require maintenance here on earth. Although God may give you a good woman, he will not simply give you a good marriage any more than he will give you good children with no effort on your part.
Women understand spanking much better than do men. Whether they will share their knowledge with a novice is another question. Part of a woman's natural protection is her *mystique* - which she expects the man to figure out how to penetrate.
Despite volumes written on love, lovemaking, wooing a woman, and the like, there simply are times that the way to a woman's heart is to cut the Gordian Knot - rather than wasting time trying to tangle her emotional mess. While women do not want a tyrant, they do expect a man to be a man when the time arises.
All of this goes back to a time when - for the survival of the species - a woman married the man she thought best able to protect her and her children. Because it was impractical to literally challenge a man to go slay yonder beast to prove his love, women leaned to become the beast.
The assumption was that if he had the capacity to handle her, then he also would be able to protect her. That is why - whether they like it or not - women instinctively respect a man whom they know will spank.
That urge to smack your girlfriend on her bottom is not unique to you. Although you may choose to either act or not act on the impulse, the impetus is visceral.
Likewise, within your girlfriend, there is a corresponding inclination to be tamed. The chances are that she is not going to advertise it. Women seldom do.
Nevertheless, women will send out subtle signals - on which they expect a man to act. In time, if a man fails to act on them, she will come to despise him.
It is not that the time is right for you to behave with your girlfriend as if you were married to her. Rather it is to be aware that, when the time comes, you are not helpless.
The politically incorrect truth is that, usually because of secular acculturation, young women often think themselves *too old* to spank. Then - in time - something happens to trigger the natural inclination.
For some women, it may be a second marriage headed the same way as the first. Other women find it to be the necessity of disciplining an older daughter for behaving too much like her mother!
When reality hits home, the greatest gift that a man can give a woman is to help her unload her emotional baggage before it either drives her insane or crushes her.
The real issue is not what you think before you decide to live with a woman for the rest of your life so much as whether you know what sometimes needs doing after you make the commitment.
Despite all the propaganda to the contrary, a woman in love does not call the police because she gets spanked - even quite soundly. That is the fatal flaw in artificial feminist-inspired touch-me-not domestic violence laws.
To the contrary, women respect the man willing to take a risk. She is more likely to bond with him rather than be repulsed by him. It is a story older than the recorded history of mankind.
In that regard, we are very much a product of our ancestors.
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Okay, so what are these signs you are talking about that tells me she needs to unload. I mean besides acting like cranky little child like she has at times?
She is a very good woman but at times gets to where she acts like a child. So what others signs are there that would tell me she needs to unload with a spanking?
And if, like she has told me, she's not into this lifestyle, do I know she will want this lifestyle?
How did your wife let you know?
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Let us start with your girlfriend's "acting like cranky little child." When does it happen? Is there any pattern of events that precedes it?
Women do not go off the deep end for no reason at all. There is usually some cause. It is the man's responsibility to find out why - then, if possible, to something about it. This duty falls under the rubric of protecting the woman.
To more specifically address your question, women have quite powerful minds. They are multitracking as well as multitasking. These attributes exist to compliment the ability of man to focus in that she is able to offer the man perspective.
Problems develop when a woman's mind becomes overloaded. Although not a perfect analogy, spanking does for a clogged woman's mind much the same thing that rebooting does for a computer; it cleans out the clutter and allows processes to function more smoothly.
Symptoms of mental congestion may include crying - or, more commonly, an obvious need to cry. As a result, her face may appear strained. She may look older than her years.
Her eyes may even have a cold gaze. Sometimes merely looking into a woman's eyes can tell a great deal about a woman's inner thoughts - not necessarily the particulars, but rather her mood.
A woman may binge eat or engage in other less than desirable activities.
If left to her own devices for too long, a woman's frustration may turn to anger - even a tantrum. It may also result in an icy silence as she drifts further from the man she once loved.
Often, a woman in need of spanking will begin to punish herself - and everyone around her - verbal abuse. In marriage, it may take the form of frigidity.
Carried far enough, and health problem begin to emerge.
Women need to talk out their problems. It is as necessary as breathing. As a result, a man needs to listen.
When a woman is unable to articulate her inner feelings, there is a real problem.
Spanking - even the threat of a spanking - opens the doors to communication. It usually starts with talking about spanking and then moves to other areas of concern.
There is no magic formula. The key to the above is to know the woman. The secret is that in figuring out one woman opens the doors to a better understanding of women.
None of this is rocket science. Nevertheless, it takes time and effort to understand a woman.
A woman is not a hobby. She certainly is not to be treated as a trophy to be put on a shelf.
Rather a successful marriage represents a commitment both to the woman as well as understanding her.
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Can I spank my husband since I caught him cheating with a relative?
If my husband acts like a cranky little child, can I spank him?
When my not-too-bright husband's little mind becomes overloaded, can I spank him?
If my husband says he's not into the spanking lifestyle, how can I tell he's really not into the spanking lifestyle? Since according to your post above because your girlfriend says she's not into the spanking lifestyle of course she must be lying.
Can all you spankers truthfully say that you are not doing this out of a sexual desire to spank your wives? Why don't you just admit it and stop hiding behind God?
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Contrary to the pervasive and politically correct perception, *domestic discipline* has less to do with sex than with stability and longevity in marriage. As I have noted before, it is a form of *nest building* in preparation for children. Whether or not a couple has children does not diminish its usefulness in creating a good marriage.
Consequently, *domestic discipline* is not merely one *lifestyle* choice among several other equally viable options. It is a traditional means of problem solving - if not problem resolving - within the framework of marriage. It signals commitment to do what is necessary to make the marriage work.
The notion of *sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander* is a relatively new concept that has little basis in biological reality. Men and women are not two interchangeable *peas in a pod* and the misguided attempt to prove that *married* homosexual couples with children can be great parents will tragically prove that point to coming generations.
*Domestic discipline* seems to alien to current generations because their self-centered conceit leaves no room for commitment to anything larger than themselves. In the end, that attitude will prove to be their undoing.
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This seems totally at odds with what I have read in the bible. It says in Luke 'judge not and you will not be judged, condemn not and you will not be condemned', but you are both judging and condemning on a regular basis. Also, it is stated by Peter that a husband should not be harsh with his wife, and spanking a wife until she is crying is pretty harsh. Also, what about the Lord's Prayer 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.' If you fail to show grace to your wife for her indisretions and instead beat her, how can you expect God to show Grace to you for your sins, and not cast you into hell?
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Few people actually read the whole Bible. If the did, they might realize that the Bible approaches issues from a multiplicity of perspectives.
For example, the same Bible that commands, "judge not" also says, "Ye shall know them by their fruits." The first reference goes on to say, "that ye be not judged." The second asks, "Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?" Then it adds, "Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit."
The same Bible that tells husbands to love their wives also tells wives to submit to their husbands in *everything*. Whether or not *everything* includes *graciously* - one domination refers to the wife's duty to submit to her husband - *taking a spanking* is the source of endless debate.
Answers depend on the rank ordering of priorities. For example: Does a woman's vanity take prescience over family stability?
Those espousing the virtues of vanity and embracing absolute gender equality - even when it contravenes biological reality - will most likely oppose *domestic discipline* as a *harsh*. even barbaric practice.
*Harsh* is a relative term. On the one hand, it can mean *rough* and *severe*. On the other, it can be considered to be *discomforting* or *unpleasant*.
The biblical image of Jesus suggests someone not given to mincing words. After all, He was quite blunt in calling the preachers of his day a bunch of snakes! Some might say his choice of imagery was rather *harsh* since the clergy named in the biblical narration supposedly were God's representatives on earth.
According to Scripture, Jesus also ran roughshod over the moneychangers in the temple. It might even be concluded that His actions were *harsh*. Yet, few people seem willing to say that He was *wrong*!
Young women - especially those only recently passing through pubescence - seldom approve of spanking. Older women are less disapproving of the practice. Then, they often have acquired a broader perspective a broader perspective - especially if they have had occasion to raise a daughter.
Many times in *domestic discipline* it is not whether the husband forgives the woman so much as whether the woman can forgive herself - let go of the past and move on.
One of the numerous failings of politically correct thought has been to spend so much energy in avoiding spanking - especially of females by males and promoting absolute gender equality - that the social infrastructure has become highly unstable.
It is only a matter of time - a relatively short time given the recent turn of events - before society has to decide whether it wishes to completely destroy itself in order to indulge the whims of a relatively few misandric creatures bent on reengineering the culture into an unnatural, unhealthy, and unworkable politically correct New Age template that constitutes little more than a fool's paradise.
If anyone thinks that which I write is in error, they are free to *avoid* my words. That is biblical.
However, before they so do, they may wish to asked themselves whether I am - whether in word or deed - *disorderly*. For that is the biblical as well.
If they think me a *heretic*, they can likewise reject me. That is likewise biblical.
Still, before they do, they might wish to *try the spirits* since that comes straight from the Bible! In this particular instance, they had better make sure that *domestic discipline* is pure quackery.
Having been married to my first wife for over forty years, I am less than concerned whether someone disagrees with me - or even whether they cherry-pick Bible verses to prove their point.
Jesus said that there was only one justification for divorce. That was adultery.
Probing sufficiently deep into why women stray often reveals a weak man. Not surprisingly, the same holds true for men.
Women pick men for the same reasons as their maternal ancestors. There simply are those times when a woman expects a man to be a man.
Weak men invite women to stray. Likewise, weak men - those unable to make a woman into something with which both she and he can live - also stray.
Like it or not - even believe it or not - women respect men they know will spank. It is not that women *like* to be spanked. Nevertheless, when administered by the man whom she has promised to love until death, it speaks to a woman's mind in a very positive manner.
It is an ages old marital practice that has withstood the tests of time. During the *modern* era, it survived invention of that curious creature know as the *liberated* Soviet woman. Likewise, it will still be around when the current generation of now rapidly aging second wave of godless feminists goes to reap their eternal reward.
As for how God will judge mankind is not for me to say. Nevertheless, I would not surprise me to discover that those able to keep their marriage together will fare better than those bent on destroying families as well as those promoting unnatural and immoral lifestyles.
Nowhere have I said that a man must spank his wife. As I have pointed out, it is not commanded in the Bible. Neither is it forbidden.
I have not even said that people have to get married. That most certainly is not in the Bible.
What I have said - based both on my experience as well as that of other husbands and wives - is that, before husbands and wives consider adultery or divorce, they may want to try paddling. As one woman phrased it, "It's cheaper than counseling, more private than divorce[;] and[,] if a woman can get past her pride, she'll find it's more effective [in resolving marital difficuties than either counseling or divorce]."
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Spanking your wife and being harsh doesn't send you to he;ll. Rejecting Christ as savior does. And If your child keeps misbehaving, then a good spanking does wonders. So if your wife keeps messing up with out changing behavior, maybe she needs it. I'm not convinced this CDD life style is right or wrong, but I know some wives who do need a good trip over the knee of their husbands or at least another woman.
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*Domestic discipline* is not about being *right* or *wrong*. It is a about finding a workable solution for what can be an otherwise intractable problem.
The biblical admonition to "work out your salvation" applies to marriages as well as to churches. After all, as the string of verses continues, God wishes things done "without murmurings and disputings."
Someone observed several years ago that *spanking is an imperfect solution in an imperfect world*. Nevertheless, it resolves many common difficulties in marriage. In particular in keeps couples from drifting apart as it promotes harmony.
Walking away from a potentially viable marriage is not a solution; it is a avoiding the problem. So is creating a de facto roommate relationship with someone once much loved.
Any two people can make a failure out of marriage. The question is - especially now that marriages are not as disposable as they once were - what can individuals do to succeed where others have failed, or even they have failed in the past.
The truly odd thing about *domestic discipline* is that the non-Christians report the same success as Christians. Furthermore, members of splinter sects see much the same results as mainline churchgoers.
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Just two words, WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!1
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Two other words: THANK YOU.
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It is interesting that you accuse me of cherry picking the bible when you are certainly guilty of that on a regular basis.
I was also wondering on what basis you claim to know so much about the female mind. Do you have a degree in psychology or are you working from the limited perspective of your own marriage only? As a woman, I can honestly tell you that I would have no respect for a man who was willing to spank, just contempt for him as a viscious bully. I do not need a beating to let out my emotions. For that, myself and my husband have a far better approach - good sex.
If we disagree on something, we discuss it and he considers my point of view, before deciding what to do. Sometimes he goes with what he originally decided, but other times he choses to do what I suggest, either because he decides my idea was in fact better, or because he realises that it is not an important issue to him so he will show me kindness by accepting my choice. Whatever he choses I go along with graciously as I choose to submit to him, not because I am scared not to but because God has told me to. If we introduced domestic discipline into our marriage, I would lose the respect I have for him as a good and loving husband and that would be a threat to our marriage.
As for you references to punishing a woman because she has a bad attitude, many men have very bad attitudes when dealing with their wives. You have openly admitted that men are not perfect all the time, yet you expect women to be perfect or you beat them. I agree that our roles in the household are not equal, but it possible to not be equal but to still be fair. Having a different outcome for men and women when they do the same thing is simply unfair. Men were made stronger to protect and provide for women, not to abuse them. This belief does not make me a feminist. I agree with you about where femistists are eternally headed, but unlike you, I do not rejoice in this. rather I pray for them and every other unbeliever, just as God expects us to.
I do not need my hisband to beat me to make me submit to him, or to stop me sinning. I have a far more powerful authority over me, God, and a far more effective tool to help me, the Holy Spirit. Spanking takes the responsibility for a woman's behaviour away from her, and she feels answerable to her husband rather than to God himself. I try my best to avoid sin because Jesus sacrificed himself to save me and I am eternally grateful. Since I am doing my best already, it would be downright cruel to hurt me for the occasional lapses. When I confess my sins to God, they are dealt with. They do not need further action. When my husband makes a decision I follow him graciously because God commands it not because he does, and we are both very happy in our marriage.
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Thank you for your offering you persepective. I am glad that you marriage is working out so well. May the peace of God be with you.
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Hello everyone
I have never posted on this blog, even though my wife and I have been practicing CDD for a few years now.
I need some advice from whoever is reading. As I mentioned earlier, we have been practicing for a few years, but never any maintenance. And because my time is always short, this was a lenghty part of this blog and I haven't been able to read it all.
I think to enhance things, I would like to put my wife on a maintenance program right away. I solicit your advise and would like to pose the following questions:
1- On the frequency of spankings, what does anyone suggest? What may be too much? What may be not often enough?
2-On the intensity, how hard should they be? On her punishment spankings, the force of it is normally proportionate to the deed that warranted it. I have read that maintenance should be harder than the play ones, which we do often, but I don't think they should be too hard.
3- What time of day or night is the best
time?
4-How many should it be. Just a few hurting ones? Or something a little more prolonged?
I think the program would help make some of the bad spells go away. I think it would add more stabiltiy and continuity.
We had a very bad spell around the holidays. I had to take action several times. Even one time at our relatives when we had time alone in the house.
Also, what does anyone think of corner time? We have only done it three times. I have had to deal with feelings of guilt and was thinking there may be something else to emphasize things like corner time does, but something not so harsh.
I look forward to your comments.
Ray
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